Losing Weight is Hard

Hi, all!

So, my fitness evaluation needed to be rescheduled for Tuesday. I know it is only a few days away, but I am a little bummed out that I was not able to find out my results. Oh well, that means I have a few more days to work hard. And let me tell you, I have been working incredibly hard. According to my scale at home, I have lost 12.2 pounds in a month. We'll have to see what the scale at the gym says on Tuesday. Either way, I know that I have made progress because I stuck to my nutritional goals 22 out of 32 days. I am sort of ashamed that in March I had 10 days where I either did not count calories, binged, or just went over. Even though I am ashamed of that, it also shows just how hard I worked the other days out of the month. Consistently I saw my weight dropping, that is a fact because on March 7th, I weighed in at 330 pounds and this morning the scale told me 317.8. The results are real.

Losing weight it hard, I will not deny that at all. If it were just an easy thing to do, I would not have topped the scale at 330 pounds, and I would have been able to keep off the 50 pounds I lost before. It is hard, plain and simple. There are days where I do not want to eat healthily, where I would rather just binge on all of my comfort foods. Or have a big bowl of pasta, a whole bag of chips, a huge bowl of ice cream. Or just a bunch of unhealthy but delicious foods from a fast food restaurant. There is nothing wrong with having pasta, chips, ice cream or fast food. Moderation is the key. To be honest, though, there have been days where I have said, 'Screw it,' I'm going to make a big plate of nachos or eat a big bowl of ice cream. Not to mention that some days I do not want to work out and sometimes I don't. This week I worked out all seven days because I wanted to. But other weeks I only work out 4 or 5 times, sometimes less than that because I just don't have the energy for it. The point is, I'm not perfect 100 percentage of the time. It just so happens that this was an excellent week for me. I ate 3,921 calories under my weekly goal. I worked out for a total of 299 minutes. And had a total calorie burn between food and exercise of 9619. If you don't know, that is 2.75 pounds for the week. Some days in March I did not do well at all, but I still was down 6.2 lbs.

Here's what I want you to get from this long drabble, you don't always have to be perfect! Some days will be bad and some good. Some weeks you will lose 2 pounds, and somewhere you will gain them back. Have more good days than bad. Eat all the foods you love in moderation or find healthier replacements that you love even more. Just stick with it, and the results will come. Slow and steady wins the race.

It is finally the weekend. I am still trying to get used to working again. My job may not be all day at this point but I am still trying to get used to being busier. It will get better when I am in my actual work schedule and not my training schedule. This varying schedule is weird but I will be into my actual schedule within the next few weeks. It will be nice to get my first paycheck on Friday though. My next one will be even better though, so I am excited about May 1st.  

Update and Addiction

Hi, all!

How are you all today? I'm sorry it has been so long since my last post, 10 weeks. Eek! Sadly, not a ton of things have happened since then, but I do have some very exciting news. I have just a couple days until I graduate with my Bachelor's degree, May 3rd is the official final day! :) Plus, I went out to Seattle for my grad school interview and just a few days later, I found out that I was accepted! So, by September at the latest, I'll be moving out to Seattle.

April 2015

I need to be honest about some now, over the past months I have gained back almost all of the weight I had lost. I'm incredibly disappointed in myself and now I have to start over again. This morning, I looked at my weight chart over the past 90 days and it has been a gradual increase. On February 1st, I weighed 295.2 lbs and yesterday I weighed 313.4 lbs. How have I gained 18 lbs since February?!? That is only 12 weeks, what did I do to myself? A few weeks ago I was visiting my best friend and I saw just how much I let myself go. She loves taking pictures, so she did and I looked so big. I didn't realize that I looked this big again, I almost cried when I saw the photos. I tried to make a change, but it just didn't happen. Then on Saturday I got another unwanted, reality check, I'm up a clothing size and I'm not happy about it. Don't get me wrong, the clothes I bought are super cute, but I'm supposed to be going down in size, not up. Hopefully, these were the reality checks I needed and I'll be able to get back on track again. I have hope because my weigh-in yesterday showed a loss of .2 lbs from the week before. It wasn't a huge loss, but it's a step in the right direction.

Today I worked out for the first time since the beginning of February. I haven't been able to do a lot because I've had an issue with my hip for almost a week, but I wanted to get back into the routine of exercising. All I did was walk with 2lb weights in my hands, but it was still a workout. Honestly, I'm starting from scratch and it saddens me because I use to be able to do so much. Today I was winded after walking for 30 minutes, but at least I'm starting now and not after I gain any more weight. Tomorrow I'm going to walk again and I'll work myself up to more, as I did before.

The final thing that I need to say is going to be the hardest. Time to come clean and admit something to me and everyone else. I am addicted to food and use it as a crutch. I eat not only when I'm hungry, but when I'm bored, anxious, depressed, happy, and every other time. I don't use food to simply nourish my body, I use it to make myself feel better. It's like any other addiction, I crave it to make myself feel better and not because I need it. I'm trying to work through my addiction and have a different relationship with food. This isn't something that will happen overnight and I will have times where I give in and don't accomplish what I hope to, but I will never stop fighting. Changing my mindset is the first thing I have to do, so that's the plan. Plus, I'm going to try to eat less processed foods and more fruits, vegetables and lean proteins.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm off to put the finishing touches on my final and then do some planning for the week. I hope that you all have a wonderful day! Until next time!

~Sara~

Update

Hi all!

Happy Friday! How are you all doing today? I am doing alright today, ready to get back in the swing of things. I will be honest, the past two days my nutrition was off, especially Wednesday. Yesterday I tried to get back on track and was doing well until the evening, I did not eat enough throughout the day and I paid for it in the evening. Today is a new day though and I am thankful for the new beginning that today offers. From now on, I am upping the intensity of my strength training sessions because I have been slacking with it and if I want to see results, I do need to work harder.

Let me tell you, my workout was intense today! I did my 30 minutes of cardio and 40 minutes of strength training. 4 sets of legwork and 3 sets of ab work, I would have done more but I was so shaky because I needed to eat something. So, I stopped because I thought that was better than passing out. On Wednesday, I missed my workout, which is why I did both legs and abs today. I am probably going to be hurting tomorrow, especially my legs, but I love the burn.

I have a weigh-in tomorrow for my challenge, not sure, how it is going to go because of my two off days this week. Oh well, it is just one weigh-in, it does not define who I am as a person. Even though I had two off days nutritionally this week, I am still calling this a decent week. I have 293 fitness minutes and before Wednesday, I was spot on nutritionally. Two off days are not going to derail  me completely, not this time.  

Time to get back to my schoolwork, this week I am trying to get through most of the information for my final paper and presentation. It is definitely time consuming but necessary. Hopefully I’ll be able to update by Monday at the latest. I hope that you all are having a great day. Until next time!

~Sara~

Weekly Fitness Goals

Hi all!

How are you on this Wednesday? Personally, I can't really complain. Staying busy with my homework, I'm focusing on my final paper and presentation today. Things will calm down a bit after this week and won't really get crazy again until about a month from now. I love taking my classes the way they are now but it really stinks that the final of one class and week one of the next class fall into the same week.

I am absolutely adoring the fact that I'm back into a healthier nutrition and fitness routine. When I started out, my walking was really light, not wanting to hurt my back while it's still healing. Now, my back is still healing, but I am trying to be more efficient with my workouts. I was logging a bunch of fitness minutes (900+ in 2 weeks), which is great, but my calorie burn was quite low for that many minutes. My legs were getting extremely fatigued because of the amount of minutes I was logging. So now, I am trying to have a higher calorie burn in fewer minutes. Currently, my goal is to burn 300 calories/workout and around 45 minutes a day (225 minutes/week). Sticking with that goal and my nutritional goals will help me lose 1 lb a week.

Time to get back to my final. I hope you all have a wonderful day and evening. Until next time!

~Sara~

Getting Back

Hi all!

How are you all doing today? It is absolutely amazing here, our weather here will be in the upper 50's to mid 60's the rest of the week :) This is my perfect weather, not too warm and not too cold. This post is going to be a pretty short one because I have an incredibly busy day ahead, my homework really needs to get done.

Although I haven't been perfect this week, I have improved since the past weeks. My nutrition has been right around my calorie goal every day besides yesterday and I've exercised 170 minutes and over 1100 calories burned. My exercise has only been walking, doctors orders, but every little bit helps. So I am looking forward to my weigh-in this week, to see if I finally have a loss, after weeks of gains or maintaining.

This weekend is also our shopping week, so I'll have more food choices. Before we go, I'm trying to come up with a list of foods I can have for lunch's that are lower calorie and filling. One thing that I'm trying to do is add more protein and fewer processed carbs. I know that I have a carb addiction and pretty much every meal has some sort of processed carb, so I'm trying to cut back a bit.

Before I end this, I just wanted to talk about something that I brought up in my last post. I am in my final year of undergrad work and have applied for graduate school. Honestly, I cannot even begin to describe how excited I am about this fact. My graduate work is something I have been looking forward to for awhile now and it is hopefully less than a year away now. Even though I am excited, I cannot believe that I am at this point in my life. I have only applied to one graduate school and I do not have a plan B but I have faith. Seattle Pacific University is where I have applied to, so hopefully I'll get accepted and be moving out to Seattle in August.

So exciting times are here and will be coming again. My homework is calling me though and there is a lot of it to get done. Until next time.

~Sara~

Update

Hi all!

How are you all doing today? It's been a rough day again. :( My shoulder is killing me and it's hard to do anything. I'm really hoping that it won't take 6 weeks to heal and it'll be closer to 4 or less. Not to mention that it's driving me crazy that I'm not able to do any upper body strength training.

I've been doing pretty good with my fitness and nutrition this week, so that's encouraging. So far this week I've got 111 fitness minutes and I've been right around my calorie goal each day. The only downfall is that I've been really emotional this week. Thankfully I haven't been over eating because of it, but it's still not a good thing. I'm trying to learn new coping skills for when I'm emotional besides eating.

But I need to cut this short, I need to go through the pictures I took earlier and figure out which one's to submit for my class. I hope you all have a wonderful evening. So until next time!

~Sara~

Bad News

Hi all!

How's everyone doing today? It's actually "warm" here today, it's in the 30's! :) This week in general is suppose to be warmer, in the mid and upper 30's, which is a welcome thing. Now, if only it will stay this temperature and continue to get warmer. But sadly, next week it's suppose to be back down into the teens and lower. :(

Well I went to my chiropractor this morning and he gave me some news that I didn't enjoy hearing. My shoulder could take 4-6 weeks to heal. :( So at that point, no upper body strength training for a the coming weeks and I have to be care with how much I'm moving my shoulders and arms at all. It's been really tough the past few days, with my pain level. Last night it got so bad that my mother had to feed me dinner because it hurt too much to even lift up my right arm to my mouth. So I'm just resting my shoulders as much as possible, icing a ton, and praying for quick healing.

Although I'm having an issue with my shoulder, I am not going to let it get me down. It's day 2 of my BLC and I'm doing well so far. After I have lunch and finish icing my shoulder, I'm going to get some cardio in, probably just walking today. Mostly because it will be the least straining on my shoulder with what I have available to me.

Time to cut this short and rest my shoulder, ice it, and read an article for school. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. So until next time!

~Sara~

Spark People BLC

Hi all!

How are you all today? Sorry I've been absent again... Life's been kicking my butt lately both physically and mentally. I have a pulled muscle in my shoulder, I'll be having my wisdom teeth surgically removed next Thursday (the 27th), I've just been hurting all around physically. Mentally things have just been rough, feeling down about myself, which leads to emotional eating, which leads to weight gain. It's a cycle, that's for sure. But I refuse to let my emotions control me. On a positive note, I got a second job! It's just a crew member at a local fast food restaurant and it's only part-time. So I'll be working about 29 hours a week, the extra cash will be nice. I've got to pay off some bills and save money for school and my wedding. :)

Did I tell you all that I'm getting married?!? My wonderful man proposed to me and we're planning on getting married in spring of 2015. I do not want to be a plus size bride, not to mention that I want to look better in my wedding pictures. I want to be able to look at those pictures and not shudder. I want to be able to show my children the pictures some day and not be embarrassed with how I look.

To assist me in not being a plus size bride, I am starting a biggest loser challenge today through Spark People. This is the purpose of this blog, outlining my goals for this challenge. So, here are my goals for this 10 week challenge:

1)  Lose at least 10 pounds - lose 1 lb/week
2) Work out at least 4 days/week
     - Cardio at least 20 minutes, 4 days/week
     - Strength at least 3 days/week
3) Eat within my calorie range at least 5 days/week
4) Stay positive no matter what
5) No late night snacking
6) Don't beat myself up emotionally
7) Be honest with myself

Well there you have it. I'm going to try and blog more often than I have been and really get back on track. I can't wait to update you all on my progress in this challenge! Have a wonderful day! So until next time!

~Sara~

Routines

Hey all!

Happy Wednesday! How are you all doing today? It's "warming" up a little today, we have a high of 3 today. Finally tomorrow we have a high of 19 and it should be in the mid-30's by Friday. :) It's pretty sad that most of WI is really excited about that, but it's the truth. How is the weather by all of you?

Confession time... Last night was horrible, nutritionally. I was doing wonderfully during the day and I still had about 400 calories left after dinner. I was a bit hungry at around 8 pm, so I had some cheese and crackers and was at my calorie goal. My emotions got a hold of me around 9 and I was craving ice cream and of course I didn't just dish up a small amount in a bowl, instead I ate probably 1800 calories worth of it. :( I'm so incredibly disappointed in myself for it.

After yesterday, my ultimate goal today is to keep my emotions under control. So far, so good. Evening time is usually the hardest for me and I'm trying to understand why. Maybe I should eat more often throughout the day to help keep myself satisfied. I'm also trying to up my protein and fruits/vegetables. In addition to that, I'm trying to drink as much water as I can, especially today in order to detox my system from all the crap I ate last night. Things need to change, I cannot stay on this cycle. And honestly, I don't want to be one of those people who loses weight, then gains weight and loses again. I have to break the cycle, I need to lose this weight and keep it off. It's quite frustrating actually, I know that I can lose it. Before this weight gain, I had lost about 65 pounds and I know that once I get into my routine again, I will get back down to that weight and ultimately my goal weight.

I'm going to try and get a workout in after I'm done with this most, while I'm watching a movie. And then tomorrow I will wake up early enough to get a workout in before I have to baby sit my nieces. Exercise needs to be included in my days again. I remember how I always felt after my workouts and it's an amazing feeling. All around it just makes me happier, helps me sleep, and an array of other things. So I'm getting back at it and it will help assist my weight loss goals.

So time to end this post and get some light exercise in, just planning on walking/jogging but it's better than nothing. Tomorrow should be a bit more. Time to get back into a routine! I hope you all have a wonderful day. So until next time!

~Sara~

Quick Update and Confession (Day 666)

Hi all!

Happy Friday! How are you all today? This is going to be a really short post but I just wanted to check in and see how you all are doing. I've had an extremely busy day... worked out this morning, Skyped with Abid for a little bit, finished 1 of my finals, had to go to the library to print something out, had an interview, and a little more homework once I got home and 2 long conversations, one with my best friend and one with my mother. Even though I should have been working on my homework, it was nice to talk with them.

Today was a bad eating day for me though... I went way over my calories (700 calories over) because of stupid Panera Bread (where my interview was held) and I made a bad choice when I wanted something sweet. It is what it is. And I calculated it all out and as long as I stick to my goal tomorrow, I will still be 2000 calories under maintenance level. So that is encouraging and I'm going to do a kickboxing workout which will burn major calories and no eating back my exercise calories tomorrow. It'll all work out and I won't let one night of bad eating ruin the entire week.

Anyways... I have a lot of reading to do for my final, hopefully I'll finish the first one tonight before I head to bed. Tomorrow's goal, finish all of my reading for the final and write most if not all of the final. It'll be a challenge, but it needs to be done by Sunday. Time to get back to homework before I head to bed. I hope you all had a wonderful day and are having a great evening. So until next time!

~Sara~

Update and Fitness (Day 665)

Hi all!

Happy Thursday! How are you all today? I hate that I am so consumed with finals this week because I don't have enough time for you lovely bloggers. :( But that is my life, I'll be taking 2 classes each session until I graduate, so the end of every session will be this busy. Thankfully I'm about halfway done with one of my finals and a quarter of a way through the other.

On a happier note, I've worked out 3 days this week already and planning on work outs at least 1 more day this week. And I've killed my workouts (today I did 2 workouts because I needed a break from my finals). I have a goal of at least 80 fitness minutes each week and I'm already at 101. I'm so glad to be back in a fitness routine, I feel so much better, finally. And even though I have been eating within my calorie goal, the actual macros have been lacking. I desperately want to get back to carb cycling but with my budget it is quite difficult. Next time I go shopping I'm going to invest in a variety of lower carb options.

Coach HASfit killed me during my 2 workouts today!

\

Okay, sorry to cut this short (again). My finals are calling my name... only 3 days until they are both done. Eh!! Have a wonderful evening everyone! So until next time!

~Sara~

Weigh-In (Day 662)

Hi all!

Happy Monday! How are you all today? It is a colder and rainy here today but I am fully enjoying this colder weather. I feel so much better after my workout, it feels amazing getting back into a fitness routine. When I woke up this morning I was not in a very good mood because I'm stressed out about my money situation which brought on an array of other stress. I did not have very much food in the house so I went grocery shopping this morning, stayed under budget and have enough food to last me at least 3 weeks. And I am still stressed about money but the whole food situation is off my mind at least. Anyways... so I vowed that I was going to start a fitness routine today and I did, so goal met. :)

Since I didn't get to post yesterday, time to post my weigh-in :) Honestly I did really well nutritionally last week and I stayed right at or under my calorie goal each day, even with my friends here visiting. Plus because of them I was able to start exercising again, beginning on Saturday and continuing into this week. Because of all of this I lost 5 pounds!

Starting Weight: 315

Last Weigh-In: 271

Current Weight: 266

Total Lost: 49

I have to cut this post short because I start my new class this week and I have 2 finals due on Sunday which I haven't really started yet. Oops! But I hope you all have an amazing day! So until next time!

~Sara~

Friends Visiting (Day 660)

Hi all!

Happy Saturday! How are you all today? It has been such a fun weekend so far with my friends! Last night we went out to dinner to HuHot Mongolian Grill and I had some amazing stir fry and showed Ashley and John my wedding dress. Ashley cried :). And then this morning we went on a hike in Seven Falls... I have a bunch of pictures that I'll post later. Tomorrow they want to go hiking again at Garden of the Gods... I swear, those two are going to kill me. I'm not much into hiking but they are, so I'm nice and go with them. How about a nice walk instead? :)

So let me start out with dinner, it was delicious! I made my stir fry quite healthy... lots of vegetables in the first round with a little pork. But the second time around I had a vegetarian stir fry and it was so delicious! I would definitely go to this place again.

Now onto the good stuff... my wedding dress. I freaking love this dress, it's definitely not my style but it's absolutely perfect. :) This dress was the wrong size so the actual dress will look a little different but you get the idea... Surprisingly, I love the lace and I'm not really a lace kinda girl. Oh well, it goes absolutely perfectly with my romantic theme.

It was amazing, I put the dress on, walked out, and Ashley's eyes started watering. Ashley has seen me try on wedding dresses before and she has never cried but this one she did... even more of a sign that this is the dress. :)

Ashley also tried on bridesmaid dresses while we were there and I found one that I absolutely love! Sadly, I did not take a picture of it but you can check it out here in apple: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Style-Satin-Wide-Strap-Tea-Length-Dress-F14556
It is so gorgeous... tea length, wider straps, sweetheart neckline and I want to add a black sash to it. :)

On to today... the three of us went hiking at Seven Falls, it is absolutely beautiful! Here is Ashley and I in front of one of the areas we hiked to. The pictures do not do it justice!

Let me tell you, I felt like I was going to die during part of it... I am getting an upper respiratory infection so the change in altitude and climbing upward really took it's toll on me. Thankfully toward the end it got better and we were able to hike a second trail. My legs are on fire now though.

But then of course we had to take some fun pictures :)







Tomorrow we are planning on going hiking again after church. Hopefully I'll be able to make another few hours of hiking tomorrow and not be hurting too much. But I am determined to keep up with exercising after they go home tomorrow. I always feel so exhilarated after a great workout. Maybe I'll restart the 30 DS again...but who knows. Something will be started though.

I have a paper that's due tomorrow so I really need to get it done. Have a wonderful evening! So until next time!

~Sara~

Carb Cycling and 30DS... oh and a little Glee (Day 581)

Hi all!

Happy Thursday! Can you believe it's Thursday already? The weekend is almost here. How are you all doing today?

I finally get to go home less than 3 days!?! Eek! I'm pretty excited about it, if you couldn't tell. I've been away from home for too long and I'm really ready to sleep in my own bed. Not to mention being able to get back into my own routine again. I can't wait to get back to carb cycling and working out at least 5 days per week. Honestly, I miss doing those things. I'm not able to count calories/carbs/protein/fats while here because I don't have control over the food choices. They always want to snack at night, which is fine, but they always want to have ice cream/gelato, brownies, chips, etc... Those types of foods are just not the type that I would typically eat. Plus I don't have the ability to just go and workout whenever I want to, it will be nice to be able to do that again. But I am pretty excited to finally weigh-in, it'll be on Monday, so a day late but I want to see where I'm at. I think that I'll be pretty on track, I haven't overdone it while being here. Not to mention that that my clothes are fitting better and better each day, even after they've been washed. So that's a great sign in my book.

Once I finally do get home I have decided that I am going to start the 30DS again along with some walking. I saw great results last time I did the 30DS, even though I wasn't able to complete it. I'm really excited for it and that makes me can't wait to get home even more. :)

So the past few days my friend and I have been watching Glee on netflix... we've finished season 1 and now onto season 2. I'm pretty much in love with this show, but I cannot wait until episode 6 because that's when Darren comes on. We're almost there, we'll reach it today. :) It's sort of funny, when Glee first came out I never watched it... hence me only being on season 2. But my best friend had me watch an episode with her while I was living in Iowa and I fell in love with the show. I cannot wait until I'm caught up with it and for season 5 to start. :)

Time to go and watch some Glee and work on my paper. :) Have a wonderful day everyone! So until next time.

~Sara~

I'm back and Happy Easter! (Day 556)

Hi all!

Happy Sunday and Happy Easter! How is everyone doing today? It's been way too long since I've last posted, but I've been staying busy. I made it here to Texas on Thursday afternoon/evening and we've been doing random things since then. But I'm the only one up right now so I thought I'd write a post and update you all. :) I have so much to tell you all. Let me start with Thursday.

My mom and I left our house at about 6:30am to head to the airport because we live about an hour or so away from the city where the airport is. So we got there by around 8am and I went through security, thankfully that didn't take too long. But then I was stuck with an hour and a half of waiting for my first flight. It went by fairly quickly because I have 5 books with me and my new journal. I didn't feel like reading any of my books for school, so I pulled out a book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. (I’ll get more into this a little later). So then they start boarding for my flight, I get all settled in and we take off. And of course, the lady I’m sitting next to is sleeping almost the whole time (good thing I didn't need to get up). Seriously, I was almost too tall for the plane; I needed to duck my head while I was walking so I wouldn't hit it on anything. All in all, my first flight went well and it went quickly. So at this point I’m in Dallas and stuck there for 2.5 hours, thankfully the airport is big. I went and got some lunch from Subway and then plopped myself down on the ground, ate my lunch and read my book some more. Then it’s time for my next flight, this is a really short flight, only about an hour. But my seating arrangements were much better this time (the plane I was in had 3 rows of seats, A on one side and B and C on the other). My second flight I was in seat A, so it wasn't as crowded. We landed and then I was able to see my friend Ashley and her fiancé John. It was about 4:15pm then, so we went to this store that my friend has wanted to show me. Then we went out to dinner to this yummy Japanese restaurant, one where they cook the food right in front of you. Dinner was delicious. And then they had to go get some groceries, so we did that. It wouldn't have been so bad, but they live over an hour from that city (it’s the nearest one). So we headed back to their place and didn't make it there until almost 9:30 pm  Ashley and I stayed up until about midnight talking and John went to bed almost right away because he had to get up for work early. That about sums up Thursday, it was long, but fun.

Now onto the book I was talking about before, it talks about love and respect (obviously you can tell that by the title), but more specifically how women desire unconditional love and men desire unconditional respect. And more often than not we are not doing things to show each other the thing we most desire. I was ‘taking notes’ in my new journal and writing about a few other things and I feel as if I have learned a lot from the book already. This book is made for people in relationships, typically a married couple but I thought it would be beneficial for Abid and I, even though we’re not married yet. Many times we are almost speaking a foreign language to each other because we are wired differently. Women are typically more emotional and very big on communication; now men on the other hand are not as much. In the book, Dr. Eggerichs talks about some national statistics that were done and I believe it was about 70% (give or take) of men would rather be in an unloving relationship than be in one where they felt disrespected on a daily basis. To me that number is staggering and it really shows how important respect is to men. I have learned so much from this book and I’m not even half way through it yet. It’s sort of funny because this whole unconditional respect concept is something that I have been trying to give Abid even before reading about it. The main example that comes to mind is when he decided to take that job in another city and then we wouldn't have internet on a regular basis. As much as I would have like him to talk to me about it first, I respect him and his decision because I know that he was only doing this out of good will. He was not trying to do anything negative, in fact it’s very much the opposite, he was doing what he believes to be best for our future. The most important thing that I've learned so far though is that we need to give each other unconditional love and respect even if the other person is not giving it back. We do not need to ‘earn’ love or respect; we need to be willing to give it openly and unconditionally. No strings attached.

I absolutely love being here with Ashley and John; I've missed Ashley so much. But it’s hard seeing them together, they make me want to be with Abid even more. I always try to put on a happy face when the three of us are together because it’s not their fault that Abid and I aren't together right now, but it’s still hard. Seeing them together, how they interact, seeing how much they love each other, it just makes me yearn for Abid. I really hope that Abid and I are like that too, just enjoy being around each other, have so much fun with normal day to day things, and have our love overflowing for each other. Honestly, I cannot wait to share these things with Abid. I do really wish he could have traveled with me and just be experiencing all the things I am. Some day that will happen, I just hope that it can be someday soon. That man is seriously so sweet though, he called me yesterday morning while I was waiting for my first flight. He just called to tell me that he loves me, that he hopes I have a great flight, how much he misses me and wishes that he could be with me. Make my heart melt a little more, why don’t ya. :) This is just one of the many reasons why I love that man so very much.

Yesterday afternoon we went to this place called The Canyon, it is a big canyon (surprising, I know :) ) with many walking trails. We hiked 5 miles in 2.75 hours, it was a great workout but very tiring. Well, I've walked a 5K now, plus another 1.9 miles. But I did get a sun burnt on my shoulders, chest and upper back (near my neck). At least it will turn into a tan in a few days. It'll be nice to actually have some color to my skin instead of pale and white. :) 

But I suppose. I should get ready for church and then work on a little homework until we head out. I hope you all have a wonderful day and an even better Easter! So until next time!

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 160 (Day 525)

Hi all!

Happy Thursday! It's the last day of the month, can you believe it? February has gone by way too quickly. Since it's Thursday, it's time to link up with KTJ and Lex for NSV's (I'll get to these in a bit)! Plus I weighed in this morning (I'll get to this in a bit too). PT went well today, I'm hurting but that's pretty normal. And thankfully, she said that it would be a good idea for me to start doing a little walking. So this afternoon I got in about 13 minutes, I don't want to do too much too soon (especially since she had me do 5 minutes on the treadmill this morning already). Some is better than none, that's how I'm trying to look at it right now. I don't want to push myself and make my pain worse, so I'm taking things slowly.

Weigh-in time! Honestly, I almost forgot to weigh-in this morning (oops). I was just going through my morning routine, bathroom, brushing my teeth, etc .. you know the drill. Then I walked out the door and was just about to head down stairs and I thought, "It's Thursday, I have to weigh-in!" So I turned back around and got ready to weigh-in, and I have good results this week. I'm down .8 lbs! That is awesome in my book, especially after the week I've had with my nutrition.

Starting on Sunday I'm trying something new, carb cycling. I've heard good things about it and how it helps maintain muscle but losing fat. I'm just going to try it out for a month and see what kinds of results it will give. Typically people do high carb/low carb/no carb days, personally I'm not doing the no carb days. I rely on carbs way too often, I love them. Honestly, I would eat carbs all day if I could. This will be a challenge but I'm willing to give it a try. I've seen results that other people have gotten with carb cycling and they were awesome, so I'm hoping to see some results as well. So I've began researching lower carb foods and when we go shopping this weekend, we'll be stocking up on them.

I have awesome news, last night I talked to my mom, and she said that they could pay the rest of the fee's for  the petition for Abid's visa! :) You all have no freaking idea how happy this makes me, I almost cried last night when she said yes. So I'm just finishing up the paperwork and then we'll get it sent out sometime next week. I'm glad that this process will finally be starting.

But now I think it's time to link up, so here are my NSV's of the week:

1. My class is going great

2. My water intake is back to where it should be

3. My PT said that I can start walking again

4. I've realized a few reasons on why I snack a lot

5. My mind has been renewed

6. My parents are going to help pay the fees for the petition for Abid's visa :)

I'm trying something new for dinner tonight and I'm worried about it. It's this crock pot chicken Marsala, well it would probably help if I had some Marsala at home. But alas, I don't, so I used the Riesling that we do have. It's smelling delicious and I checked the flavors and it is delicious in my book, so that's exciting. Just goes to show you that improvising is a good thing. :) 

Time to go finish up some homework. So until next time.

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 159 (Day 524)

Hi all!

Happy Wednesday! How is everyone doing today? My mind has been renewed and I'm ready to figuratively kick some butt! Not sure if this new found confidence has anything to do with the pants I'm wearing today (size 20's, oh yeah!) or not, but I'm mentally renewed. I woke up to this huge snow storm this morning and thankfully it's finally stopped (it's almost March for goodness sake).

I'm getting to the point where I'm so ready to start working out again. I have a physical therapy appointment tomorrow morning so I'm going to talk to her and see if she thinks its a good idea to start walking and maybe do some upper body strength training (as long as it doesn't aggravate my back/hip). Honestly, I'm missing my daily workouts, and I just want to start them up again. I'm fairly certain that she'll say walking is okay because she has me warm up our PT sessions by walking on the treadmill. But I just want to run my idea by her before making any decision on it and of course I wouldn't be walking very fast. I probably really got the itch to exercise because one of the people I follow on Facebook posted a March fitness challenge and I really want to do it but I probably won't be able to because it deals with the thighs (and having an issue with my back/hip  right now probably won't allow that).

Today I'm getting a bunch of homework done. I finished my first reading assignment and when I'm done with this I'm going to proof read my paper and then do my two other chapters that I have to read. The one book that I have read for my class so far is really interesting, I love it. It's called Courage & Calling: Embracing Your God-given Potential by Gordon T. Smith. The book talks about finding our personal vocations which dealing with different issues that life throws at us. I would definitely recommend it and I'm so glad that it was required material for my class.

My classmates are being really slow with posting in our discussion (our initial post was due last night, and only 3 of us have posted so far). It's frustrating but I suppose if they don't mind their grade being docked, then who am I to judge? But it's hard because we have a group thing due on Sunday and I'm the only one who has posted anything about it so far. I hate procrastinating, so I'm hoping that the other's will post something about it soon.

Time to go proofread my paper and get more of my reading done. Oh by the way, I'm doing a weigh-in tomorrow (since it's the last day of the month), just be prepared to hear the results of that. So until next time.

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 154 (Day 519)

Hi all!

Happy Friday! How is everyone doing today? It's a snowy day here, which I'm not necessarily a fan of but it is what it is. Honestly, I wish that I could live down south during the winter and up here during the summer, but alas, that will not be happening anytime soon. Oh well, I'll survive.

This morning I was on Facebook just browsing around I stumbled across this picture. It really rings true to me because I have found that I do hate myself for what I'm not sometimes. I feel like I should be more or closer to my goal than I'm at now. And I've realized that when I think about that, I'm really sabotaging myself. What I need to do is start complimenting myself for who I am right now and the positive steps that I am taking to better myself.

Eh... I am so yearning to exercise. I'm hating the fact that I can't exercise right now. Yeah, I'm allowed to walk some but I want to do some intense working out (A few years ago, I never thought I would be saying that :) ). I would walk today but I know that tomorrow I'll be walking a bunch (I go shopping with my mom and SIL on Saturdays and it definitely wipes me out).

Since it's Friday it's time to link up with Allie and Brin to talk about the week's Pit's & Peak's.

Pits

1. I still am unable to exercise  

2. It's snowing

3. I miss Abid a freakish amount :(

4. My back is still causing me a ton of pain

5. I had an emotional afternoon and ate more than I should

Peaks

1. My nutrition is back on track

2. My water in-take is back up where it should be

3. Abid is going back to his home so he'll have internet again! :) (This is both a positive and negative for him. It's good because we'll be able to talk and see each other on Skype again. It's bad because his job isn't working out for him)

Like I said above, Abid will be heading back home. While this makes me so happy because he and I will be able to Skype on a regular basis again. But then it makes me sad because he is struggling so much there. His job has really long hours with a small salary (today he called me at 2 pm which is 1 am his time, and he had just gotten home from work. He had started work over 12 hours before that and that's way too much for the type of job he had). It broke my heart when we were on the phone today, because he almost started crying (I could tell from his voice). He was telling me how he could live there without me and if I was able to, I would be there right now. Gosh, I cannot wait until we're together. I know deep in my heart that Abid and I are meant to be together, even if some people don't understand it. Our love is true and only continues to grow. 

But I need to go get dinner marinating and then continue my paper and discussion. So until next time. 

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 150 (Day 515)

Hi all!

How is everyone doing today? It's a new week and a chance to start fresh. I'm doing well on my goals for the week so far (and I have realized that I haven't posted my goals yet, I'll get to that in just a little bit). Plus I had physical therapy this morning for my back. My physical therapist said that most exercise is going to be out of the question right now, I can try to walk a little, but that's about it. I need to be up and moving around but I don't want to over do it. So it's difficult because I never really know how far I can push myself before I've over done it.

Yay for goals! :)

1. Nutrition - eat within my calorie range each day (been horrible with this lately)
2. Water - drink at least 100 oz of water per day (this too)
3. Exercise - do my PT exercises as recommended
4. Positivity
5. De-stress (this has been the worst)
6. School work - get a head start on my assignment that's due on the 3rd and respond to everyone who posts a discussion
7. Paperwork - finish up the paperwork needed for Abid and get it sent out as soon as I have the money

I was relaxing this afternoon, watching some TV and working on my homework. Well a commercial came on for this weight loss pill and some of the people on it were saying how you can't lose weight on your own, it's impossible. Gosh, you have no idea how frustrated that made me. This is a national commercial and so many people are hearing this garbage. Another person said that he didn't need to change his diet at all (he ate the same amount of food) and didn't have to exercise at all, and he was able to lose weight. Ahhh.... this is a complete load of crap. These types of commercials really do frustrate me because just a few years ago, I would have believed every word of it. But after learning what I have over these past 515 days, I have realized that it takes a butt load of hard work, a change in nutrition, and exercise. It's a lifelong journey that will never really be complete. And I just hate that other people may be believing what this commercial is saying. So it just upsets me.

But it's time to go and work on some homework. So until next time.

~Sara~