Honesty and Stress

Hi all!

Happy Thursday! How are you all doing today? It's a beautiful October day here in Wisconsin, the weather has been wonderful lately. :)

I need to be honest about something... I have not been doing well nutritionally upon returning from my mini-vacation. In the mornings, I always say that today is a new day and I'll do better today but then in the evening, I eat more than I should be eating. Honestly, I am extremely disappointed in myself for this but it is what it is. For me, posting this blog is the first step in getting back on track. I can tell myself over and over that I'll get back on track today but if I don't hold myself accountable and tell others, then it is extremely easy to push it back to tomorrow. So today I am holding myself accountable to stay on track.

I think that one of the reasons that I may be like this is because I was able to pre-plan my next semester classes and I'll be able to register for them in 11 days. Next semester is going to kill me, it'll be the hardest one of my undergrad degree. I'm taking 5 classes, Research Methodology (ugh!!), Personal and Social Ethics, Interpersonal Relations, Abnormal Psychology and Integration of Psychology and Theology. Those classes in general aren't bad but I have to take 3 classes during block 2 (the second class session) and 2 during block 3 (the third class session). Research Methodology is a 10-week course that I'm starting in block 1 but it continues into block 2 and that's what is making things difficult. I'm stressing out about it already. I've taken this many classes before but the first time it was on accident and it was quite difficult. I don't really have much of a choice in the matter though because I was either going to have to take at least 4 classes in the Spring semester or the Summer semester (which is my final one). All I can say is, Lord help me! I know I'll get through all these classes because I always do, but I won't have much of a life from February to April. Oh the joy of being a student. The positive thing, I'll only have 2 classes left to take during the summer. I'm hoping and praying that they'll be available otherwise I'm not sure what I'll do. But the light is at the end of the tunnel for my undergrad degree. On a happier note, I submitted my graduation application yesterday. :)

Yesterday I came across a variety of  fitness videos that I'm looking forward to trying out. I'm excited, there are videos on kickboxing, walking, strength training, other toning, HIIT, low-impact, and many other kinds. Right now I'm only allowed to do the walking ones but I'm pretty psyched for them all. :)

Well I'm off to work on my homework for a bit, then lunch and then trying out one of the new walking workouts that I found. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Until next time!

~Sara~

Spark People BLC

Hi all!

How are you all today? Sorry I've been absent again... Life's been kicking my butt lately both physically and mentally. I have a pulled muscle in my shoulder, I'll be having my wisdom teeth surgically removed next Thursday (the 27th), I've just been hurting all around physically. Mentally things have just been rough, feeling down about myself, which leads to emotional eating, which leads to weight gain. It's a cycle, that's for sure. But I refuse to let my emotions control me. On a positive note, I got a second job! It's just a crew member at a local fast food restaurant and it's only part-time. So I'll be working about 29 hours a week, the extra cash will be nice. I've got to pay off some bills and save money for school and my wedding. :)

Did I tell you all that I'm getting married?!? My wonderful man proposed to me and we're planning on getting married in spring of 2015. I do not want to be a plus size bride, not to mention that I want to look better in my wedding pictures. I want to be able to look at those pictures and not shudder. I want to be able to show my children the pictures some day and not be embarrassed with how I look.

To assist me in not being a plus size bride, I am starting a biggest loser challenge today through Spark People. This is the purpose of this blog, outlining my goals for this challenge. So, here are my goals for this 10 week challenge:

1)  Lose at least 10 pounds - lose 1 lb/week
2) Work out at least 4 days/week
     - Cardio at least 20 minutes, 4 days/week
     - Strength at least 3 days/week
3) Eat within my calorie range at least 5 days/week
4) Stay positive no matter what
5) No late night snacking
6) Don't beat myself up emotionally
7) Be honest with myself

Well there you have it. I'm going to try and blog more often than I have been and really get back on track. I can't wait to update you all on my progress in this challenge! Have a wonderful day! So until next time!

~Sara~

Routines

Hey all!

Happy Wednesday! How are you all doing today? It's "warming" up a little today, we have a high of 3 today. Finally tomorrow we have a high of 19 and it should be in the mid-30's by Friday. :) It's pretty sad that most of WI is really excited about that, but it's the truth. How is the weather by all of you?

Confession time... Last night was horrible, nutritionally. I was doing wonderfully during the day and I still had about 400 calories left after dinner. I was a bit hungry at around 8 pm, so I had some cheese and crackers and was at my calorie goal. My emotions got a hold of me around 9 and I was craving ice cream and of course I didn't just dish up a small amount in a bowl, instead I ate probably 1800 calories worth of it. :( I'm so incredibly disappointed in myself for it.

After yesterday, my ultimate goal today is to keep my emotions under control. So far, so good. Evening time is usually the hardest for me and I'm trying to understand why. Maybe I should eat more often throughout the day to help keep myself satisfied. I'm also trying to up my protein and fruits/vegetables. In addition to that, I'm trying to drink as much water as I can, especially today in order to detox my system from all the crap I ate last night. Things need to change, I cannot stay on this cycle. And honestly, I don't want to be one of those people who loses weight, then gains weight and loses again. I have to break the cycle, I need to lose this weight and keep it off. It's quite frustrating actually, I know that I can lose it. Before this weight gain, I had lost about 65 pounds and I know that once I get into my routine again, I will get back down to that weight and ultimately my goal weight.

I'm going to try and get a workout in after I'm done with this most, while I'm watching a movie. And then tomorrow I will wake up early enough to get a workout in before I have to baby sit my nieces. Exercise needs to be included in my days again. I remember how I always felt after my workouts and it's an amazing feeling. All around it just makes me happier, helps me sleep, and an array of other things. So I'm getting back at it and it will help assist my weight loss goals.

So time to end this post and get some light exercise in, just planning on walking/jogging but it's better than nothing. Tomorrow should be a bit more. Time to get back into a routine! I hope you all have a wonderful day. So until next time!

~Sara~

Addiction

Hey all!

Happy Tuesday! How are you all doing today? It's another cold day here in WI, -35 with windchill but thankfully it's suppose to warm a bit, starting tomorrow and suppose to be in the mid-30's by Friday. :) Oh and I have to say Happy Birthday to my nephew! He's turning 6 today, I cannot believe that one!

I didn't have a very good day nutritionally yesterday. The day was going quite well until dinner time and beyond. I ate a healthy, breakfast, lunch and a small afternoon snack, I was right on track with my calories and had about 900 or so left for dinner and the rest of the evening. Well, I ate a little more than I should have at dinner, which would have been okay, if I would have stopped there. But of course, I continued eating throughout the evening. I had ice cream for dessert, then popcorn later and cheese and crackers after that. Ugh... I'm disappointed in myself but it could have been a lot worse, I suppose. Today is a new day though and I'll try to make better choices today.

Okay, so I know that I usually try to keep things lighter here but I ran across something this morning and felt the need to write about it, so here we go. Addiction. You may be wondering, how did this topic come about? Well I was on FB this morning and there was a photo shopped picture of Cory Monteith and Lea Michele, it's been going around ever since his death in July. If you all don't know who these people are, they were/are on Glee. Cory died of a drug overdose, he was an addict and people didn't realize how bad it had gotten again.

Some of the comments on this picture, really got me thinking. A few of these comments were quite rude, especially to Cory, in terms of his death which they correlated to his life in general. He was not a bad person just because he got caught up in drugs and eventually lost his fight against them. We all have struggles and can be addicted to almost anything. Sure, a drug addiction may be worse than others because it can easy take your life but an addiction is an addiction and having one doesn't make you a bad person.
Some addictions that I can think of off the top of my head are:
Drug, alcohol, pornography, food, coffee, TV, money, shopping, prescription pills, cigarettes, weight loss.

I'll admit something, I still struggle with food addiction. How do you think I ate my way to 315 pounds before? Every day is a struggle, both internally and externally. Who's going to win at every specific meal? Will it be my food addiction or my will power? I'm just going to be blunt, it sucks. How often does a person want a healthy meal over a comfort food? Not very often, let me tell you. People don't realize that a food addiction can be deadly, but it's a slow death. If you have a food addiction, you can eat yourself to a very high weight and many people die of complications (high blood pressure, heart failure, blood clots, ect...). All I can do is keeping fighting every day and some day I will overcome my addiction.

Just remember, even if an addiction cannot kill you, does not mean that it's any harder than an addiction that can kill. Addictions can break-up families (of any kind), friendships, careers and just life in general. If you are suffering from an addiction don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it be a friend or family member or professional help. It does not show weakness, it shows strength. Don't ever give up the fight!

This post was quite serious, but necessary, I believe. Now it's time to watch a movie marathon with my mother. :) Have a wonderful day everyone. So until next time!

~Sara~

Weekly Goals

Hey all!

Happy Monday! How are you all doing today? It's a freakishly cold morning here in Wisconsin, -43 with windchill currently. So I'm staying inside today and watching movies with my mom. Anyone who needs to be outside today, be careful! I'm thinking of my dad and boyfriend especially, as they both have to work outside today. 

Yesterday I went to a football party with my boyfriend and his family, needless to say, I was nervous! It was my first time meeting his extended family and I didn't know what to expect. How many of you felt that way when meeting your significant others extended family for the first time? Thankfully, it went really well! Honestly, I love his family and I can see spending time with them in the future. :) 

Okay, now it's time to get honest with myself about weight loss. Yesterday I had a great weigh-in, not sure how, but I'll take it either way. When we went shopping this week, I made sure to pick out some heathy lunch options. And I'm going to try really hard to not eat unless I'm actually hungry. Also, I'm going to try and cut back on my snacking, especially evening snacking. So my plan of attack is upping my water intake, to help ensure my goals. 

My goals for this week: 

1) Eat within my calorie goal everyday

2) Add exercise to my routine

3) Drink at least 100 oz of water/day

4) Eat a healthy breakfast, daily

5) Blog at least 5 days

6) Only eat when I'm hungry

7) Stay positive

Okay, time to start the movie marathon with my mom. Stay warm out there today! Have a wonderful day. So until next time! 

~Sara~

Honesty

Hi all!

How are you all doing today? See, I told you that you’d see me soon, I’m here two times in one day. :) My last post I had originally written yesterday but I forgot to post it… Oops, my brain sometimes, I tell ya. I got it posted either way and now I wanted to post again with today’s thoughts.

This morning I finally got my first measurements of the year in and I wanted to share them and give a comparison to last years. Even though some of the numbers were hard to see, it was necessary. I really needed to just start fresh and see where I am currently. Looking back, the numbers aren’t horrible, they are much better from where I originally started and yeah, they aren’t where I’d like them to be, but I’m going to move forward. Since I began back in 2011 I have lost 19.1 inches, 6 off my hips, 4.1 off my waist, 2.5 off my chest, 1.5 off my neck, 1.75 off my thigh (I always measure the right), 2.5 off my calf, and .75 off my upper arm. Along with 4.6 points off my BMI and 37 pounds lost. I honestly cannot complain about that because everywhere is smaller than when I started. :) Oh, and I took some body pictures this morning for comparison.

One thing that I really need to get back to is being 100% honest with myself, especially on here. When I started this blog, it wasn’t to try to get people to read it or follow me. I started this to help me, to get all my thoughts out in a safe way. It’s actually pretty counterproductive for me to lie to myself, how is that helping? My vow to myself and to all of you out there is to be completely honest, no matter what. Whether what I have to say is positive or negative, I will not sugar coat things.

Now, with that being said, I need to be honest with you all about something. This is something that I didn’t mention in my last post and I really feel like I should. Ever since my job fell through and I wasn’t able to find another one, I have become pretty depressed. Just really, down on myself, feeling worthless and I don’t know how to break this feeling. How many of you have felt like that? I have been trying for months to get through this and I’m really hoping that beginning to blog again will help. These months that I’ve been feeling this way were really lonely and I wasn’t blogging, just keeping everything locked inside. Now that I’m trying to be more open again, hopefully I can work through a few things.

I think it’s about time to sign off. I’m off to write my boyfriend a letter and relax for a little while. Stay warm every one, I know that I’m going to have to work on that in the coming days. So until next time!

~Sara~