Year 1 Day 160 (Day 525)

Hi all!

Happy Thursday! It's the last day of the month, can you believe it? February has gone by way too quickly. Since it's Thursday, it's time to link up with KTJ and Lex for NSV's (I'll get to these in a bit)! Plus I weighed in this morning (I'll get to this in a bit too). PT went well today, I'm hurting but that's pretty normal. And thankfully, she said that it would be a good idea for me to start doing a little walking. So this afternoon I got in about 13 minutes, I don't want to do too much too soon (especially since she had me do 5 minutes on the treadmill this morning already). Some is better than none, that's how I'm trying to look at it right now. I don't want to push myself and make my pain worse, so I'm taking things slowly.

Weigh-in time! Honestly, I almost forgot to weigh-in this morning (oops). I was just going through my morning routine, bathroom, brushing my teeth, etc .. you know the drill. Then I walked out the door and was just about to head down stairs and I thought, "It's Thursday, I have to weigh-in!" So I turned back around and got ready to weigh-in, and I have good results this week. I'm down .8 lbs! That is awesome in my book, especially after the week I've had with my nutrition.

Starting on Sunday I'm trying something new, carb cycling. I've heard good things about it and how it helps maintain muscle but losing fat. I'm just going to try it out for a month and see what kinds of results it will give. Typically people do high carb/low carb/no carb days, personally I'm not doing the no carb days. I rely on carbs way too often, I love them. Honestly, I would eat carbs all day if I could. This will be a challenge but I'm willing to give it a try. I've seen results that other people have gotten with carb cycling and they were awesome, so I'm hoping to see some results as well. So I've began researching lower carb foods and when we go shopping this weekend, we'll be stocking up on them.

I have awesome news, last night I talked to my mom, and she said that they could pay the rest of the fee's for  the petition for Abid's visa! :) You all have no freaking idea how happy this makes me, I almost cried last night when she said yes. So I'm just finishing up the paperwork and then we'll get it sent out sometime next week. I'm glad that this process will finally be starting.

But now I think it's time to link up, so here are my NSV's of the week:

1. My class is going great

2. My water intake is back to where it should be

3. My PT said that I can start walking again

4. I've realized a few reasons on why I snack a lot

5. My mind has been renewed

6. My parents are going to help pay the fees for the petition for Abid's visa :)

I'm trying something new for dinner tonight and I'm worried about it. It's this crock pot chicken Marsala, well it would probably help if I had some Marsala at home. But alas, I don't, so I used the Riesling that we do have. It's smelling delicious and I checked the flavors and it is delicious in my book, so that's exciting. Just goes to show you that improvising is a good thing. :) 

Time to go finish up some homework. So until next time.

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 159 (Day 524)

Hi all!

Happy Wednesday! How is everyone doing today? My mind has been renewed and I'm ready to figuratively kick some butt! Not sure if this new found confidence has anything to do with the pants I'm wearing today (size 20's, oh yeah!) or not, but I'm mentally renewed. I woke up to this huge snow storm this morning and thankfully it's finally stopped (it's almost March for goodness sake).

I'm getting to the point where I'm so ready to start working out again. I have a physical therapy appointment tomorrow morning so I'm going to talk to her and see if she thinks its a good idea to start walking and maybe do some upper body strength training (as long as it doesn't aggravate my back/hip). Honestly, I'm missing my daily workouts, and I just want to start them up again. I'm fairly certain that she'll say walking is okay because she has me warm up our PT sessions by walking on the treadmill. But I just want to run my idea by her before making any decision on it and of course I wouldn't be walking very fast. I probably really got the itch to exercise because one of the people I follow on Facebook posted a March fitness challenge and I really want to do it but I probably won't be able to because it deals with the thighs (and having an issue with my back/hip  right now probably won't allow that).

Today I'm getting a bunch of homework done. I finished my first reading assignment and when I'm done with this I'm going to proof read my paper and then do my two other chapters that I have to read. The one book that I have read for my class so far is really interesting, I love it. It's called Courage & Calling: Embracing Your God-given Potential by Gordon T. Smith. The book talks about finding our personal vocations which dealing with different issues that life throws at us. I would definitely recommend it and I'm so glad that it was required material for my class.

My classmates are being really slow with posting in our discussion (our initial post was due last night, and only 3 of us have posted so far). It's frustrating but I suppose if they don't mind their grade being docked, then who am I to judge? But it's hard because we have a group thing due on Sunday and I'm the only one who has posted anything about it so far. I hate procrastinating, so I'm hoping that the other's will post something about it soon.

Time to go proofread my paper and get more of my reading done. Oh by the way, I'm doing a weigh-in tomorrow (since it's the last day of the month), just be prepared to hear the results of that. So until next time.

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 152 (Day 517)

Hello all!

How is everyone doing today? Just another cold February day here in the great state of Wisconsin. I just returned from physical therapy, my back/hip is hurting like crazy but I won't let that stop me from having a great day. How can it be bad? Abid called me this morning, and after not hearing his voice since Sunday it was much needed. :) Plus I'm happy, because I've been doing a lot better with my nutrition, exercise is still out of the question but I'm doing what I can.

Speaking of nutrition, that made me think about some forums that I've been reading and things in my own life.  There have been so many negative people in my life that have told me that I could lose weight a lot fast if I decreased my calories. In fact, one person told me I should only be eating 1200 calories! 1200!?! When I heard that, I literally told them that they are crazy. I am 5'10.5" tall, I'm a big girl and eating 1200 calories is severely unhealthy. For me to lose about 1 lb/week I should be eating about 2180 calories. To all of those people who think eating as little as possible will cause me to lose more weight, thanks for your advice but I've done my own research. And I've experimented with how many calories to eat and I'll stick with what I'm doing, because it seems to be working.

Last night I was watching a show called, My 600 lb Life, it profiled a few individuals over a 7 year period about their weight loss journey. I watched 2 segments of it and honestly, it really made me think about my own life. When the people and their families were talking about some of their struggles, I could really relate. I understood, to an extent, the pain in their eyes. Now don't get me wrong, I am no where near 600+ pounds, I am half of that weight plus some. So I don't necessarily understand the mobility issues and things like that, but I do understand the pain of feeling like I'm not worth it. Or that I am not normal and that food is my only comfort. Oh believe me, there were days when I weighed my heaviest where I just felt like my life wasn't worth living anymore. But you know, it's all about our own attitudes and confidence. Those are the things that the right people notice and they will want to be with you for those qualities.

One thing that was mentioned a lot in the show was this question, "how did I ever let myself get this big?" This is something that I have questioned quite often. I wonder why when I was 250 lbs in high school, that I didn't do something then. I was a lot closer to my goal then compared to when I started trying to lose weight in 2011 at 315 lbs. Honestly, I know why I let myself get that big. There is no doubt in my mind that it is because of my emotions, I'm an emotional eater. I've had quite a few traumatic things happen to me in high school and directly after, but that doesn't account for why I was always an overweight child. That is my parents, especially my mother, she was my enabler (honestly, she still can be). My family is the type where food is always present, it's what we use if we're happy, sad, lonely, ect... Most of the people in my family are over weight, some not as much as others, but there are hardly any of us on my mom's side that are at a healthy weight. At our family get together, holidays mostly, there is plenty of good food, but even more of an abundance of delicious desserts. It's definitely been a lot harder since I've started trying to lose weight, but I'm getting better and I have no doubt that holidays will always be a struggle for me. But then there's my father, he is tall and thin. He eats whatever he wants and won't gain a pound, probably because he has a very physically demanding job. It stinks though because he always wants to keep ice cream and chips and other things like that in the house. What he doesn't understand is how tempting those things can be to me, not so much the ice cream but the chips are killer. It's amazing that I haven't touched the chips that are in the cabinet this week.

But I suppose. I've been slacking on the paper I've been writing. So I should probably get to it. Until next time.

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 150 (Day 515)

Hi all!

How is everyone doing today? It's a new week and a chance to start fresh. I'm doing well on my goals for the week so far (and I have realized that I haven't posted my goals yet, I'll get to that in just a little bit). Plus I had physical therapy this morning for my back. My physical therapist said that most exercise is going to be out of the question right now, I can try to walk a little, but that's about it. I need to be up and moving around but I don't want to over do it. So it's difficult because I never really know how far I can push myself before I've over done it.

Yay for goals! :)

1. Nutrition - eat within my calorie range each day (been horrible with this lately)
2. Water - drink at least 100 oz of water per day (this too)
3. Exercise - do my PT exercises as recommended
4. Positivity
5. De-stress (this has been the worst)
6. School work - get a head start on my assignment that's due on the 3rd and respond to everyone who posts a discussion
7. Paperwork - finish up the paperwork needed for Abid and get it sent out as soon as I have the money

I was relaxing this afternoon, watching some TV and working on my homework. Well a commercial came on for this weight loss pill and some of the people on it were saying how you can't lose weight on your own, it's impossible. Gosh, you have no idea how frustrated that made me. This is a national commercial and so many people are hearing this garbage. Another person said that he didn't need to change his diet at all (he ate the same amount of food) and didn't have to exercise at all, and he was able to lose weight. Ahhh.... this is a complete load of crap. These types of commercials really do frustrate me because just a few years ago, I would have believed every word of it. But after learning what I have over these past 515 days, I have realized that it takes a butt load of hard work, a change in nutrition, and exercise. It's a lifelong journey that will never really be complete. And I just hate that other people may be believing what this commercial is saying. So it just upsets me.

But it's time to go and work on some homework. So until next time.

~Sara~

Year 1 Day 149 (Day 514)

Hi all! I have a confession to make.... I've been doing absolutely horribly with my eating the past few weeks, and it definitely shows. I'm up 4 lbs from my lowest weight within the past few weeks. I'll be honest, I've known how horrible I've been doing, but it wasn't until I saw the number on the scale this morning that really gave me a kick in the butt. The number I saw this morning was getting way too close to the number that I said that I would never see again. Today was a challenge because we had a little get together with some family because it is my grandfather's birthday tomorrow. I really don't know the exact number of calories that I ate but I ate a lot less than I usual.

I'm really hoping that since my class starts tomorrow, it will help me stay busier and I will be less likely to snack throughout the day. Today went well, I only had one snack throughout the day and it was some cereal.  I'm determined to do better with my nutrition because I am unable to do much exercise right now. I don't want to do a whole lot until meeting with my physical therapist tomorrow for my back and seeing what the person says. But I am hoping that the person will tell me some exercises I can do and then I'm sure some walking will be alright.

As many of you known, I've been so lonely lately because I haven't really been able to talk to Abid, besides for a few minutes on the phone. Last night while I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, my mind was wandering. And I said a that Abid and I barely have a relationship anymore because we hardly ever get to talk now. Needless to say, it's been very hard. This morning Abid called me twice, just to tell me how much he misses and loves me and how much he wants us to be together. After he said that, I felt so horrible with even thinking what I did last night. It just goes to show you, Abid always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better. I love that man more and more every day.

But I'm getting quite tired. So it's off to bed for this girl because physical therapy starts in the morning. Until next time.

~Sara~