Frustration and Struggles

Hi, all!

Happy Friday! How are you all doing on this lovely day? It's already Friday, which is crazy, this week has absolutely flown by for me. This week has had it's ups and downs, right now it is more of a down. I'm trying to continue moving forward though. I keep beginning posts and not finishing them, so I'm finally going to finish a post again this week. Today I started my new job and I'm tired out! It has been a long time since I've had to be on my feet this long, but it is what it is, I'll get used to it. Now I'm just sitting with my feet up and relaxing for a little while before dinner.

Before I talk about anything else, I just need to get a frustration off my chest. I'm so tired of people judging other people, especially when they know nothing about what that person is going through. Everywhere I am turning I see people judging others and it drives me so crazy. Each of us has a story and it's not like anyone else's, so why are we judging others when we don't really know their story? Can we please just judging each other and just love and support? Please?

Now onto what I really want to talk about today, I'm struggling, plain and simple. The past few days I have allowed my food addiction to take control again and I feel like I'm spiraling out of control again. This needs to stop today. I have done well during the day and in the late evening, I make an extremely unhealthy food choice. I'm mad at myself for letting the food addiction take control again, but I'm going to fight it tooth and nail. Thankfully, last night I was able to keep my eating under control and I was under my calorie goal, hopefully, tonight I will be that successful as well.

The past few days I have been making excuses because I'm sick,  I "need" to eat that, I shouldn't exercise because I can't do much. Even yesterday morning I was making excuses as to why I wasn't going to workout, well, I nipped that in the bud and took a light 30-minute walk. Sometimes I just want to shake myself and say, 'what in the world are you thinking'? Yes, being sick does make working out more difficult, but I can still walk. When I'm walking, I can't give 100% because I can't breathe all that well, but I can still walk slowly without much difficulty. I'm done making excuses because I won't change myself when I'm making excuses.

Well, I'm off to continue relaxing and make some dinner. I hope that you all have an amazing evening and weekend. Until next time!

~Sara~

Frustration and Stress Sickness

Hi all!

Happy Wednesday! How are you all today? It's a bit dreary here and it has been most of the week (I don't really mind it though). I am SO enjoying these temperatures though, highs mostly in the 50s this week. This is absolutely my perfect weather. :) How are all of your weeks going?

Yesterday was just a negative day, all around. Some time after I ate breakfast yesterday morning, I begin feeling extremely fatigued, a much lowered appetite, and just completely off. I had to force myself to eat lunch by 1 pm and I was not hungry for dinner until close to 7 pm. Along with that, I just had no energy and I just wanted to lay in bed all day and just rest. It was really strange but then around 4:30 pm I understood why, a migraine came on quickly. After I took something to hopefully take the migraine away, my appetite was back and the fatigue was gone. It was all good and bad, I'm glad the fatigue was gone but my appetite could have not come back full steam.

I was in a much better mood this morning after I woke up, thankfully. So I got ready for my day and then went to have some breakfast and I realized that someone has been eating/drinking my breakfast foods. Welcome frustration! I honestly don't mind sharing my breakfast foods and I can make adjustments or replace foods but it drinks me up a wall when people eat 2 or 3 days worth of the food. Go ahead, have a serving of my food, but please leave it at that! Most of my foods only last me exactly 2 weeks and I can only go shopping every 2 weeks. The waffles that were eaten are easily replaced, I can have toast instead but my tomato juice does not have a replacement. Someone drank 4 servings of my tomato juice, where this was suppose to last me all week, only lasted 3 days! I'm just frustrated now and I'm trying really hard to not let it get to me.

All of this current stress and upcoming stress is catching up to me, I'm starting to get physical reactions to the stress. I do not have the time and energy to deal with these physical reactions, there is way too much to do. Hence why the physical reactions are occurring, but that is beside the point. :) Next week is my last official relaxation week until December, so I'm trying to work ahead some this week. If I'm able to complete things earlier this week, then I can begin next weeks work as well. And then when next week comes, I can put the finishing touches on my final and actually get a head start on my classes that will be just starting. So, I'm trying to work ahead, so I can continue working ahead. Part of me wants the rest of this week and next week to go by slowly but at the same time I want them to go by quickly. More or less, I just want to get though next session quickly, with 3 A's and then have a month break before the craziness starts again.

Well I'm going to stop here because I have a lot to get done today. So I hope that you all have a wonderful day. Until next time!

~Sara~

Living out Your Dreams and Darren Criss :) (Day 550)

Hi all!

Happy Monday! How is everyone doing today? It's a new week, time to start fresh and make great things happen! What are you going to do to make today great? I'm feeling really inspired today, yet frustrated and questioning things. Wondering how to accomplish the things that are inspiring me.

I want to talk about something I've been thinking about lately, but especially this morning. Currently, I just feel like my life hasn't actually started yet. I know that I was created for so much more than I am doing now. It seems like I'm still waiting for my real life to start. My dreams are so much higher than what I have now. I want to travel the world, help people, get married (working on that), have amazing experiences, and most importantly give God all the glory for everything I do. Right now I feel stuck in a rut, doing the same things from day to day. Not really accomplishing much, just getting by. I have this yearning to live in another country for a short time, be connected in a culture other than my own (that's hard to do when you have very little money, though). I've never really felt at home here, ever. God has placed all of these dreams in my heart and I want to live them out. But the question is, how? It frustrates me to the core, I want to be doing all the things I've dreamed of doing (and yes, one of those things is actually being with Abid). Part of me really just wants Abid and I to go to some random country and live for like 6 months or a year. Just experiencing life together and experiencing another culture. So if anyone would like to fund an experience like that, I would appreciate it. ;)

I had a great workout this morning/afternoon. 40 minutes of walking, it was more intense today because I was rocking out to my awesome Darren Criss Pandora station. Yes, Darren Criss really is my obsession right now. :) Either way, I got my workout in. I'm currently on week 4 of 5 of my 5K walking training program. By next week, I'll have walked my first 5K! Eek! :)



Oh and this is just another reason why I love Darren Criss so much. The video is a few years old, but he does Disney covers!?! This one is from Mulan (my absolutely favorite Disney movie), plus he's done songs from Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, and the Duck Tales theme song. Seriously, this man just needs to marry me right now. :) Oh but you have to check out his version of Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid, it's amazing! Not to mention that he writes his own music, he's just amazing in general. Enjoy the video below. :)

I'll be honest, listening to his music has really inspired me. I'm not expecting to become famous or meet famous people or anything like that. But I won't put anything past God, He can do great things. And hey, every person had to start somewhere, they put themselves out there and made something great of themselves. Who knows, someday I could become this really famous Marriage and Family Therapist, writing books and doing amazing things. All I know is that I'm inspired and I want to live out my dreams. My prayer is that God will use me in amazing ways in the near and distant future. 

I suppose, this post is long enough already. So until next time all.

~Sara~