Hi, all!
Today has been rather ify. I started off the morning feeling fantastic because I had made it to 5 days binge free. And I will say that I am still binge free but there was a close call for a few hours earlier today. At around 10AM I went to submit some school work and I found out that I lost everything for this week and the next few weeks. I went into full panic mode and had a rough panic attack. Until around 12:30 I fought off a binge hard. By then I won the battle! I did not binge today and I am so freaking proud of myself. Day 6 binge free is almost complete and I cannot wait to write tomorrow that I am working on 1-week binge free. There have been a few times where I almost gave in today but my mindset is changing. I knew that binging would not change my situation, all of my work would still be lost and I would have just set myself back.
In addition to almost binging, something else that brought my day down some was the fact that I was finally able to weigh myself today. The number on the scale was appalling and I was not expecting it at all. Even thinking about it now is really hard...
Today has been rather ify. I started off the morning feeling fantastic because I had made it to 5 days binge free. And I will say that I am still binge free but there was a close call for a few hours earlier today. At around 10AM I went to submit some school work and I found out that I lost everything for this week and the next few weeks. I went into full panic mode and had a rough panic attack. Until around 12:30 I fought off a binge hard. By then I won the battle! I did not binge today and I am so freaking proud of myself. Day 6 binge free is almost complete and I cannot wait to write tomorrow that I am working on 1-week binge free. There have been a few times where I almost gave in today but my mindset is changing. I knew that binging would not change my situation, all of my work would still be lost and I would have just set myself back.
In addition to almost binging, something else that brought my day down some was the fact that I was finally able to weigh myself today. The number on the scale was appalling and I was not expecting it at all. Even thinking about it now is really hard...
Starting Weight: ??
Current Weight: 343.6
Pounds Lost: -
Well, there it is, I am being honest about all of this, even when it is difficult. It is no wonder why my wedding dress didn't fit. I thought that I was around the same weight but apparently I gained 15 pounds. This almost brought me to a binge but instead, I am using it as motivation. I will not let it control me anymore. Losing weight may help to ease some of my arthritis and fibromyalgia pain and that is something that I desperately want. It is difficult but I am determined to finally lose all of this weight and keep it off.
I am still feeling somewhat down but I am trying to enjoy my evening. Here's to day 6 binge free. Until next time.
~Sara~
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